


Always

by epiclifeinruins



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, Potions, Potions Accident, Young Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 17:03:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6528526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epiclifeinruins/pseuds/epiclifeinruins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Severus and Lily learn the hard way that potion making is really complicated stuff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic because I just want Severus Snape to be happy.  
> Is that so much to ask?  
> Dammit.

“Severus! I can’t reach!” 

He turned around and saw her standing on the tip of her toes stretching her arm as far as she could to reach a jar filled with sloth brain on the top shelf of the cupboard. Her long, ginger hair was cascading down her back and swung lightly from side to side as she tried to stretch her arm even further.  
He loved her hair and he loved it when it caught the sunlight and every single hair on her head looked as though it was on fire, shining in all shades of red, copper and gold there was. He had often wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through it. Heaven knows he had imagined it thousands of times. 

“Severus?” 

Her voice woke him up from his daydreaming and he blinked a few times, trying to regain some focus. 

“Where did you go?” she smiled. 

“Oh, nowhere in particular.” he said, feeling the blood rushing up into his face, giving a light pink shade to his otherwise pale cheeks.  
“Let me get that for you, Lily.”, he said and reached for the jar and handed it to her. 

The fact that he was tall, taller than most of the boys in his year, was one of the few things that he actually liked about himself. The rest of his appearance was not what you would categorize as particularly handsome. He was slim, almost to the point of being scrawny, his limbs long and awkward as he moved them. He slouched a bit, which made him resemble a thin, scruffy looking bird of prey, waiting for its next meal up a tree somewhere. He had shoulder length, raven hair, which had all the possibility of being quite appealing, had he only taken to using shampoo on a far more regular basis than he currently was. As a result, it was a bit greasy and very messy. His eyes were almost as black as his hair, reflecting the light in a very dramatic way, making his gaze all the more vivid and, to be frank, a little bit scary. However, the most noticeable thing about him was his nose. It was big, with a prominent bridge, which made him look even more like a huge bird when one viewed his face from the side. It was safe to say that the sixteen-year-old Severus Snape was not particularly successful in the dating department.  
But that did not bother him at all. He only had eyes for one, and one alone; Lily Evans. The girl with the green eyes so beautiful that he more than often found himself forgetting how to breathe and then had to inhale deeply a few times to prevent himself from passing out. She always had time for him, she was kind to him, always smiled at him and, most importantly, she wanted to be around him, despite of what all the other students thought. She was a very popular girl and practically everyone in the whole school (some of the teachers included) could not for the life of them understand why a girl like her would want to spend so much time with a boy like him. 

But she did, and that was all he cared about, and would ever care about, during his entire life. 

“Thank you, Sev!” Lily said putting the jar down next to her cauldron. “It’s a good thing that I have such a tall and sweet bloke to help me take stuff down from shelves, ey?”. She laughed and nudged his side with her elbow. 

“Uhm…yes…exactly…” he stuttered, trying desperately to think of something clever and witty to say.  
He knew it was no use, she had that mind numbing effect on him. Really, his mind literally went numb, like would a hand or an ear left out in the cold for too long without a glove or a hat to protect it. He couldn’t really think when she was around, and that was not something he was used to, being one of the most intelligent students in the history of the whole school. 

She laughed again and took a step back from the table, hands on her hips, studying the items they had placed there.  
On the table next to the cauldron lay infusion of wormwood, powdered asphodel root, that jar of sloth brain and 13 Sopophorous beans. All that they needed to make the potion known as “The Draught of the Living Death”. As this was a particularly difficult potion to make, Severus had decided that it was best if they both met in the Potions classroom during the weekend, since it would need a fair amount of concentration, and having quiet surroundings would be preferable. Another thing that was preferable, at least in Severus Snape’s mind, was the fact that he got to be completely alone with Lily. 

Not surprisingly, there was not a single living soul in the Potions classroom on a Saturday. Especially during a sunny Saturday. In April.  
But, of course, the main reason for being left alone with Lily was so that he could show her the way of making the potion correctly. 

At least that was what he kept telling himself. 

“So, how do we go about this thing then?” Lily asked looking down on the ingredients in front of her. “I read the recipe and it looks really flipping complicated to me. I nearly threw the bloody book in the wall!” she muttered folding her arms across her chest in a displeased manner.  
Severus let out a soft laugh as he began to organize the ingredients on the table. 

“Don’t worry, Lily.” he said, “You’ll do fine, all you need to do is to focus and follow my instructions and you’ll have a perfect “Living Death” in no time!”

Lily placed her hand on his lower arm and looked into his eyes. Emerald green met charcoal black, and for a moment time stopped completely for Severus Snape. 

“Do you really think so?” she asked, holding on a little firmer to his arm. 

He looked down on her small, slender hand and then up into her eyes again. “Say something!”, his brain shouted at him. “Bloody hell! Anything! Don’t just stand there looking like a deranged turbot with a speech impediment!”

“Yes…yes! Yes, of course!” he finally managed to blurt out. “You’re a really clever girl, Lily, and I can’t see any reason as to why you shouldn’t be able to make this potion as well as the next student!”

“Oh, Sev, you’re so sweet!”, she said with relief.  
And was there (if he could allow himself to hope) even a hint of admiration in her voice as she continued: “Besides, you’re the only one in the whole school, except for professor Slughorn, who can make this blasted soup successfully. So if there’s anyone I should have as a potions tutor, it’s definitely you, Severus!” 

He felt a warmth fill up his entire body as she smiled and gently squeezed his arm before letting go and lit the fire under the cauldron with a quick spell and small flick of her wand. 

He found himself thinking that he would do anything for this girl. All he wanted was for her to be happy and safe, and there was not a single thing in the world he wouldn’t do to ensure that. If it was needed of him, he would without a single doubt, lay down his life for her. Over and over again if it was possible. 

He loved her. 

With every fiber of his being, true and selfless, so much that it was painful. But it was a good pain, and he wouldn’t want to give it up for anything. 

He rubbed his palms a couple of times against his robes and took a deep breath to regain his focus and began explaining the recipe to Lily as he measured up the ingredients with great care.

"Alright! Let's get started then, shall we.", he said, trying to sound more calm than he actually was.  
He was not at all nervous about preparing the potion as he had made it successfully several times before, to the great satisfaction of professor Slughorn. His nervousness was caused by the fact that this was the first time Lily had asked him for help with her school work. He had tutored some of his fellow Slytherins before, and although he set extremely high standards and had a rather intimidating teaching style, his brilliant mind and attention to detail somehow managed to rub off on the ones he taught and they did make good progress. As long as they didn't become too shaky when he gave them one of his annoyed glares if they made a mistake or didn't quite understand his instructions straight away.

With Lily it was different. When she was around him a seemingly endless patience and a lenient nature emerged, and all the irritation and aversion that he normally felt simply vanished from his mind. No doubt this was mostly due to his devotion for her, but she had that impact on everyone, really. To be around her was like putting a desperately needed soothing balm on a very painful wound. Everything just instantly felt better when Lily was in the room. Because of this, and because of the kindness and friendship she always showed him, he wanted to help her make this potion perfectly. He wanted her to see herself through his eyes; that she was so much more than her popularity and her good looks. That she was as intelligent as she was strong and, most importantly, so incredibly and undeniably kind. 

He knew that no one would ever mean as much to him as Lily did.

“The most important thing to remember about this recipe is that the ingredients must be added in a very precise order, otherwise it’s not going to work.” Severus continued, still trying to sound both relaxed and confident at the same time. It didn’t work that well, as his voice had a little higher pitch than he would have preferred. He cleared his throat and rubbed his chin nervously. “Pull yourself together, damn it!” his brain scolded him, “You’re not going to get anywhere with this if you keep acting like a complete twit! You just need to focus. And stop fidgeting!”. He exhaled sharply, his jaw tightly clenched. Why was it so hard for him to focus when Lily was around? “You know why.” his brain told him condescendingly, “All you’ve ever wanted to do since you met this girl is to kiss her. It’s all you think about. No focus in the universe can drive that thought from your mind. Idiot.” 

Sometimes he really, really hated being right. 

With slightly trembling hands he picked up the infusion of wormwood. He needed to occupy himself with something before he blacked out completely. 

“Why don’t you start with the beans, Lily?” he said as he began putting the wormwood into the cauldron. “Use the silver dagger to extract the juice.” 

“No problem!” Lily said smiling, “Cutting up some beans is right within my comfort zone.” She laughed and winked at him as she reached for the dagger. 

That laugh. It was so infectious. So warm. So…

“Focus!”

Merlin’s beard! His mind was certainly not his best of allies at the moment.  
Breathe. Just remember to breathe. 

“Try crushing them instead of cutting them.” he said, “I’ve found that you can extract far more juice that way.”

“How many times have you made this potion, Severus?” Lily asked, suppressing a giggle.

“Oh, I don’t know. I lost count at around a dozen.” he shrugged. “Why do you ask?”

Lily finally let out that giggle she’d been trying to hold back. And, yet again, she touched the innermost parts of his heart, with nothing more than this soft, bright sound. 

“You’re really something, you are! I’ve never met anyone who works as hard as you do, Severus.” she said as she began crushing the beans. “You’re not only the cleverest person that I’ve ever known, but you’re also able to improve potion recipes that are centuries old without any greater difficulty. You are one of a kind, Severus Snape. One of a kind.” 

The look in her eyes as she said these words was the final, and wonderfully disarming blow for Severus Snape. Right there and then, he could have been knocked over with a feather. He had never cared what people thought of him. No one had ever expressed any deeper affection for him, not even his parents, as far as he could remember anyway. At most, people tolerated his presence, and that was solely because of the fact that Lily instantly pounced like a tiger on anyone who dared to have a go at him. As much as he hated to admit it, Severus had mixed emotions about this. Lily’s loyalty towards him was deeply touching, but at the same time he felt a bit weakened by it. As though he couldn’t really stand up for himself. Or more importantly, stand up for Lily. He wanted to be able to protect her too, not just the other way around. 

But right now no one had to protect anyone. 

Right now, as he was standing next to Lily, watching her crush those blasted beans, all he could think about was those words. 

One of a kind. 

In Lily’s eyes he was one of a kind. His heart was pounding so hard that he was sure that she could hear it too. He was painfully aware of the fact that his facial expression could most certainly be likened to that of a drugged troll, but he did not care. He was too happy to be bothered about the look on his face. 

By now, Lily had finished crushing the beans and she put them aside in order to add the powdered asphodel root to the mixture. 

“Am I doing it right?” she asked, reaching over to get the jar of sloth brain next to him. As she did so, she lost her balance a little and in order to regain it, she reached out to grab the table but instead she accidentally put her hand on the top of Severus’. 

“Sorry.” she said absent mindedly, as she was entirely focused on the task at hand. 

Severus’ patronizing brain would have been impressed by that focus. 

As Lily grabbed the jar from the table and leaned back, she lifted her hand from his, and he felt the palm of her hand as it stroked against his skin, warm and soft. She was so close to him, closer than she had ever been before, and yet he felt as though she was a million miles away. All he wanted was to take hold of her hand and pull her into his arms and never let her go. He wanted to bury his face in her hair and feel her against his chest. He wanted to kiss those wonderful lips and he wanted to look into her eyes and tell her that she was the only reason why his heart kept beating. And he wanted to tell her that he loved her, so badly his entire body was aching. 

But the moment passed as quickly as it came and he found himself staring into Lily’s eyes, his face probably looking like that of a tragic lovechild between an owl and a goldfish. 

“Hey! Are you awake?”. Lily was waiving her hand in front of his face to get his attention. 

He must have drifted off for quite a while. 

“I’ve added the asphodel root, so now I’m supposed to add the sloth brain, right?”. She gave him an inquiring look and held up the jar of sloth brain. 

“Oh, yes! Absolutely!” he said, his mind still hazy and filled with the memory of Lily’s hand on top of his own. 

“It’s nice when your teacher is focused on the lesson he’s giving.” she said, with another giggle as she emptied the jar into the cauldron. 

“I’m sorry, Lily.” Severus said, as he slowly began to reenter the real world. “You’re doing great! It seems like you don’t really need my help.” 

He gave her a crooked smile and she smiled back at him so sweetly he was sure that he was going to drop dead right there and then. 

He wanted this moment to last forever. Just the two of them, smiling at each other, the outside world having no significance to them at all. But, of course, this was only a dream living within him, and it was soon going to be interrupted in a rather dramatic fashion. For as they stood there, looking at each other, something was happening to the mixture in the cauldron. It had started boiling quite violently and was quickly turning bright red. Severus took one hesitant step towards the table. This did not look very promising at all. 

“What’s happening?” Lily asked, a hint of worry in her voice. 

“Uhm…I’m not really sure.” he said. “I’ve never seen a reaction like this before. Did you add the asphodel root before the sloth brain?” he asked, turning around to face Lily.

“Yes, yes I did.” There was a hint of anxiousness in her voice as she peered into the cauldron, the potion in it boiling even more aggressively than before. 

“And you stirred it twice clockwise before adding the brain?” he asked, in a slightly more worried tone of voice than he meant to. 

“What? No! You were supposed to do that too?!” Lily grabbed the book from the table, her eyes darting across the pages to find the instruction. “Damn it! I completely missed that! What’s going to happen now?” She had begun to nervously pull a lock of her hair between her fingers. 

“Well, as far as I know there will be a chemical reaction.” Severus said, trying his best to remain calm. 

“What kind of chemical reaction?” Lily asked, her voice reaching a weak falsetto.

He cleared his throat. 

“Hrm...well…uhm…the asphodel root will react with the sloth brain, and, well...explode a bit.”

“Explode a bit!” Lily shrieked. “What do you mean ‘explode a bit’?!”

By now, the mixture had begun to pour over the sides of the cauldron with a violent hissing sound. And by now Severus knew that the result of this unplanned experiment was not going to be a pleasant one, and he instinctively pulled Lily back from the table and moved in front of her to shield her from whatever was going to happen. 

“Severus…I don’t like the look of this.” she said as she grabbed his arm, crouching behind him. 

“Me neither.” he replied, backing further away from the cauldron feeling Lily pressing against his back.

Suddenly, without any warning, huge bubbles began to form on the surface of the liquid, growing larger and larger by the second. The cauldron was shaking so furiously that the table it was standing on was vibrating.  
“Oh! Bloody fantastic.” Severus’ brain had time to comment sarcastically before the entire content of the cauldron was flung up into the air, hit the ceiling, and covered almost the entire room, including its two occupants, with a bright red goo. 

Lily cried out in alarm, and Severus found himself covering her with his body, his back turned against the cauldron. He felt the sticky, smelly muck covering the entire backside of his body, from his head to his heels. Luckily, the potion was only lukewarm, so they escaped the incident without any burns.

They stood like that for a couple of minutes, him bent over with his arms around her, both gasping, listening to the remnants of the potion dripping from the ceiling.  
Slowly, Severus began to stand up straight again, whimpering as he saw the state of the room. “Professor Slughorn is going to kill you. You’re going to spend the rest of your days at this school in detention.” Needless to say, he was not particularly fond of his brain right now. 

“Are you alright?” he asked Lily as she peered out from underneath his robes. To his relief, she had almost completely managed to avoid being hit by any of the potion when it exploded. She had a little on her left cheek and some in her hair, but the rest of her was clean. 

“Oh, my word!” she exclaimed, covering her mouth with both her hands. “Look at the classroom! What a mess!” 

Then she caught sight of Severus, all covered with bright red gunk form head to toe, and she began to laugh. Softly at first, but within seconds she was roaring with laughter, tears filling her eyes. He stood there, with a confused look on his face, not really sure how to react, but then he caught sight of his own reflection in the glass doors of one of the cupboards and he too began to laugh. He looked a right mess, his robes now more red than black, all sticky and smelly, goo dripping from his arms, face and hair. 

They stood like that, facing each other for quite a while, both laughing so hard that they got cramps in their stomachs. Severus hadn’t laughed that much in his entire life. It was a good feeling. After a while they calmed down, and began to take a closer look at the damage caused. The entire room looked as though it had been repainted by an insane decorator with a fondness for using explosives during the creative process. 

Severus let out a gasp of despair as he looked around. He turned around and faced Lily. 

“I’m going to have to sort this mess out.” he said, trying his best not to look completely pathetic as he attempted to wipe his face clean with a part of his robes that, miraculously, was not covered in red goo.  
“If professor Slughorn sees this, I’ll be in detention for the rest of my life. You go, Lily. I don’t want you to get into any trouble.” 

He wrung his robes with a disgusted look on his face. And then he heard it again, that soft, sweet sound of Lily giggling. He looked up and their eyes met again. 

So green, like newly- sprung birch leaves.

“Do you really think that I’m going to leave you to clean this up yourself?” she said, folding her arms across her chest again, giving him a skeptical look.  
“You basically used your own body to shield me when that cauldron blew up, and now you’re telling me that I should leave, even though this whole catastrophe is actually my fault. Think again, mate. I’m staying here with you. Detention or no detention.” 

“But…I can’t let you…I don’t want…You shouldn’t have to…” he stuttered as she began to pick up items that had been flung around the room during the explosion. 

“Instead of standing there like a numpty, you could use some cleaning spells on the walls, Severus.” Lily teased him, smiling. 

“I really don’t want you to feel obligated…” he began, but before he could continue, she held up her hand to stop him from talking and walked over to him, taking both his hands in hers, looking into his eyes. 

“I’m not doing this because I feel obligated, Severus.” she said, “I’m doing this because I am your friend, and because I care about you. I want to help you, and since we’re on the subject of helping, I also want to thank you for what you did before. When you shielded me like that you didn’t know what would happen. You could have been seriously injured, but you did it anyway, and I will always be thankful for that.” 

Lily’s grip on his hands tightened as she said the word “thankful” and Severus felt his heart fluttering in his chest like a small, but very excited, bird. 

He looked into her eyes and smiled. 

“I would do it again if I had to.” 

Those words were the most truthful words he had ever spoken in his life. 

Lily smiled back at him and reached up and wiped a drop of red potion mixture from his chin with her thumb. 

“I know you would.” she said softly. 

He swallowed hard. 

Breathe. Just breathe. 

“Thank you.” he said, his voice thick with restrained emotion. “For staying here with me.”

There was that sweet giggling again. And that beautiful smile. She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest. 

“Always.” she whispered against his beating heart.


End file.
